


War, Wine, and Wood

by peanuts_envy



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Dildos, Dionysus is unable to be degraded, Face-Fucking, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Coital Oral, Rough Sex, Rowdy Fun not Menacing Frights, Trans Dionysus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 22:14:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30062325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peanuts_envy/pseuds/peanuts_envy
Summary: Dionysus takes great joy in his new boon and its glowing reception from mortals; he offers his blessing to the other gods of Olympus to a similar warm reception, save for one god who seems to take an affront to his generosity.Or: Ares hates that Dionysus is raking in mortal offerings for being slutty n' free, then ends up worshipping him just the same, despite himself.
Relationships: Ares/Dionysus/Theseus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	War, Wine, and Wood

**Author's Note:**

> Thinking about these [extremely good/extremely nsfw sketches](https://twitter.com/jojoekaki/status/1324495963516477442?s=20) of trans Dionysus n' reading up on his mythology--why not trans Dionysus? This man is not cis and I will not be convinced otherwise!!

Dionysus hummed happily, polishing a length of fig wood in his domain on Olympus. His beloved mortal followers had heard of his disciple Prosymnus and the ritual that ascended his soul to Elysium, and had begun to incorporate the act into their worship of Dionysus himself.

His cherished Pan had already engaged in several of these rituals at Dionysus' behest, furthering the desire among those on the surface for a boon from the god of revelry. Dionysus sighed and held the wooden phallus to his chest, sinking into the plushness of the chaise he lounged upon. Offerings were endless; the finest of bulls and the most exceptional of libations--mortals would have grand feasts in his name and then pleasure themselves and each other with Dionysus' boon, shouting to the heavens in ecstasy.

Dionysus felt as if he would weep, the joy was so overwhelming. _He did this for them; through his tenacity and his love, he gave them this._ He nodded to himself. _Incredible._

Ares crashed into his domain then; as jarring a presence as he always was. _What the hell, man?_

Ares held in his hands a box with the seal of Dionysus, which wasn't surprising; Dionysus had ensured that the gods of Olympus also received a boon-- _why should mortals be the only ones to have this pleasure?_ Ares did not look pleased, however.

"What _nonsense_ is this?" Ares demanded, throwing the box on the ground at Dionysus' feet.

Dionysus stretched, noticed there was an open nectar nearby and grabbed it. _He was always like this--such a bummer all the time. A loud, angry--_

Ares snarled and kicked the box for emphasis, sending it against a nearby column with a thunderous crash.

" _Answer me!_ "

Dionysus blinked at him, made a face. _Not even a greeting?_

"Of all your _appalling_ schemes, you involve me with this one. How _dare_ \--"

Dionysus sighed and groaned, already so exhausted by Ares' posturing. _Doesn't Ares himself tire of it?_

"Yeah, so--I just thought you could use it, on account of your whole--deal," Dionysus said casually, gesturing at Ares before him. Ares' golden ichor rose in his cheeks.

" _What do you imply?_ "

"You're always so tense, man," Dionysus shrugged, but couldn't help the grin that spread across his face.

_It was not so long ago that Ares and Aphrodite were consorts and Hephaestus devised a plan to shame them publicly, for Aphrodite and Hephaestus were married. A mortal husband would have had Ares punished with violence, death. What punishment was this for the god of war?_

_Dionysus had seen Hephaestus enact his plan, its aftermath. He'd seen Ares and Aphrodite ensnared in the enchanted net--caught in flagrante--dangling helplessly in mid-air. Ares had been flushed deep gold down to his chest, humiliated and on display, but no less aroused. Aphrodite had told Dionysus later how Ares had still managed to finish, despite--or perhaps because--of the degradation._

_That was the Ares that Dionysus wished to know--not this one, always shouting in his face._

Ares set his jaw, stared Dionysus down. Dionysus supposed mortals would be quite frightened by this, Ares' intense stare. They had not seen what Dionysus had, however. As it was, Dionysus felt amused by this exaggerated display of fury and kept drinking his nectar, watching Ares curiously. Dionysus' indifference only seemed to enrage Ares further; he lunged at Dionysus in a blur of motion, gathering up his cloak and tugging him out of his chair. Dionysus had to be quick to balance the bottle of nectar he was holding. _Always like this._

"You forget to whom you speak so casually," Ares growled at him, their faces a hair's breadth apart. He released his hold on Dionysus cloak just as suddenly and let him fall back into the chair. _Urgh._

_Aphrodite had told him that Ares' passion and ferocity made him a memorable and intense lover, though there was work that must be put in. This clearly had been what she meant--enduring his relentless posturing and banal threats._

_What if Dionysus simply spread his legs? That had proven quite effective before. Yeah, let's do that--_

Dionysus held Ares' gaze and spread his legs, offering himself before the god of war. Ares narrowed his eyes and leaned over him, taking Dionysus by the jaw tightly. Dionysus wasn't deterred and opened his mouth in Ares' forceful grip.

"A wanton, whorish display," Ares snarled at-- _not to_ \--Dionysus.

Dionysus quirked his brow and Ares sneered at him, grabbing the wooden phallus Dionysus had been working on and shoving it roughly into Dionysus' mouth.

The god of wine laughed indulgently and bobbed his head, certainly not unaroused by Ares' show of force. _He would gladly do this to Ares himself, but there was appeal in this, too._ Ares watched him with both hunger and disgust, warring even within himself. _They were not in Ares' domain however, and this was not a war he would win._

Dionysus dropped his bottle of nectar aside to take one of Ares' hands in his and push it between his legs, rocking forward to take Ares' fingers in him. Dionysus held Ares' gaze and his hand, pleasuring himself on Ares' fingers and moaning around the phallus still held in his mouth.

Ares' breath hitched and he tightened his grip on Dionysus' jaw, letting himself be used. Dionysus' eyes fluttered closed as he jerked against Ares' fingers, pleasure coiling and building in him quickly. He moaned again, muffled by the phallus and to his surprise, Ares moaned, too--albeit reluctantly.

"A _wanton_ \--" Ares withdrew both of his hands, wild-eyed. "-- _whorish_ display."

Ares was undoing his many layers of armor, watching Dionysus now with base and intense hunger. Dionysus pulled up his chiton to give him more to hunger for, drawing the wooden phallus out of his mouth and spreading himself further. _Ares had not yet seen a whorish display, as he so claimed_. Dionysus slid the toy into himself as he held Ares' gaze and the god of war made a sound like he'd been struck.

Dionysus stretched out on his back and admired his handiwork, thrusting the wooden toy into himself with a groan. Ares faded into the background, the sound of bronze falling to the marble floor now somewhere far away. Dionysus closed his eyes and lost himself in his own blessing, marveling at its splendid design and how pleasure thrummed through him sharply with each thrust. _A brilliant creation, perhaps his best yet._ He spread a hand over his stomach and arched into his own touch, riding out the shiver it sent through him.

Dionysus felt hands on his neck and he grinned, opening his eyes. Ares grabbed a fistful of Dionysus' hair and tugged, pulling him closer to where Ares wanted him. Dionysus laughed and allowed him this, let himself be told where to go. _They would both have what they were after._ Dionysus opened his mouth for what Ares was to give him, still working the toy between his legs.

Ares thrust fully into his mouth, making Dionysus groan. Dionysus was held in place tightly as Ares rolled his hips, pushing as deeply as possible. Dionysus closed his eyes, wanting to lose himself in the feeling of being filled so completely; the hand between his legs met Ares' rough pace and made Dionysus moan and arch off the chair.

Ares spread a hand over Dionysus' trembling stomach and Dionysus opened his eyes to watch with interest. Ares slid his hand lower to stroke Dionysus roughly-- _more roughly than he would have otherwise preferred, but he could not deny how thrilled he was by Ares' deft fingers_ \--Dionysus moaned at his touch, bucking his hips eagerly.

"Let me," Ares ordered, though he pushed Dionysus off of his cock, ostensibly to let him answer.

"I'd love to," Dionysus said, dazed. He drew the toy out and tossed it aside, not caring where it landed.

Ares rolled Dionysus over and drew his hips up, urged his thighs apart. Dionysus let out an indulgent laugh and bared himself further, again offering himself to the god of war. Ares dug his fingers into Dionysus' hips and snapped forward, driving his cock into Dionysus and making him cry out. _This is the Ares Aphrodite sang of._

Dionysus met Ares hard pace eagerly, gripping the edge of the chair to leverage himself and rock back with the same force. He was dimly aware of how loud he was being, but felt no need to hold back. He was also aware of Ares' hand groping around next to him, but wasted no breath asking Ares what he was doing-- _who could care, as long as he kept going--_

Dionysus made a noise of surprise as the wooden phallus was pushed back into his mouth.

"Howling," Ares grunted behind him, "like a bitch in heat."

Dionysus was laughing again, for he was not wrong. Ares pushed his shoulders down and pounded into him, now-muffled cries coming with each thrust. Dionysus supposed he could have simply taken the toy back out, but the thought wasn't very appealing.

Ares was breathing hard as he leaned over him, taking Dionysus by the back of his neck and squeezing. His thrusts were becoming uneven and Dionysus could feel Ares' hands clutch him more tightly; it was not long before Ares came with a low, strangled growl. Dionysus moaned as Ares tensed and shuddered, flexing his hand on Dionysus' neck with each wave of pleasure.

Ares drew his hips back and reached between Dionysus' legs to keep touching him, sliding his fingers inside him easily and groaning in approval. His touch wasn't rough as it was before; Ares seemed reverent, now. Dionysus pulled the toy out of his mouth and looked over his shoulder to watch himself be admired. Ares looked mesmerized and Dionysus couldn't blame him.

"You're _fun_ when you want to be, you know--ah!"

Ares had dropped to his knees suddenly and buried his tongue between Dionysus' thighs, tugging Dionysus' hips back to push himself deeper. Dionysus let his eyes flutter closed and slid the toy back into his mouth to muffle a cry as Ares spread his legs further. _He had not expected more, but he would not turn this away._

"Turn over," Ares said gruffly, another order.

Dionysus obliged eagerly, rolling over and drawing his legs up. Ares' mouth was on him in an instant-- _he was surprisingly deft in this task_ \--sliding his tongue into him again and thrusting deeply. Dionysus arched against him and rocked with his thrusts, not bothering to muffle his groans.

" _Yes, hah_ \-- You're-- _good_ at this, man--"

"Give me that."

Dionysus gave him the wooden phallus readily, sitting up on his elbows to watch him.

"Yeah..."

Ares pushed the toy into Dionysus up to its hilt and leaned forward, taking him in his mouth again. Ares' eyes admonished Dionysus as he cried out, but Dionysus ignored it. _Keep going._ Ares held the toy flush against Dionysus as he sucked and teased him with his tongue-- _he'd done this before_ , Dionysus thought. Dionysus tried to arch against Ares' tongue but was pushed down, held in place by Ares' hand on his stomach.

Dionysus felt warmth coil in his groin, felt himself start to tense. _Close, so close_ \-- Ares' insistence on a slow pace now, when Dionysus wanted fast and rough, was intolerable.

Dionysus dug his heel into Ares' back to force him closer, grinding against his tongue. _Like this._ Ares--to Dionysus' surprise--obliged with an eager moan, pressing his tongue flat and letting Dionysus use him. _Yes_. Dionysus tangled a hand in Ares' hair and shuddered, bucking his hips and coming hard.

Ares kept sucking after Dionysus had finished, which he had no complaints about. Dionysus let his legs fall open and he jerked against Ares tongue, not caring when the overstimulation started to ache, started to feel closer to pain than pleasure.

Ares' touch was gone all at once; he pulled away and stood up-- _there would be no shared afterglow, then_ \--a snarl back on his face. Dionysus grinned and stretched, which shifted the toy still inside him in a very satisfying way. _Perhaps he would keep doing this after Lord Ares takes his leave_ , he thought, pressing his palm flat against the base of the toy and rocking against it. _Yes, that's what he'll do._

"Insatiable," Ares said and Dionysus nodded. "Base, whorish--" Dionysus nodded at him again. _Guilty as charged._

"Flatterer."

Ares' lip quirked and it didn't escape Dionysus' notice.

"You will poison the mortals with this, Dionysus."

"What of you?"

" _Tsch_."

"I think you would enjoy it if you tried," Dionysus said, circling his hips against the wooden phallus. Ares dressed himself and Dionysus hardly noticed; he'd already reclined back in his chair, thrusting into himself lazily. _Did Ares truly not want this for himself?_ Dionysus closed his eyes and let his legs fall open. _What better way was there to spend time?_

Dionysus was dimly aware of Ares speaking to him-- _apparently there was more to say._

"Mm?" Dionysus opened his eyes and Ares was standing above him. _Oh._

Ares narrowed his eyes, as if he did not believe Dionysus hadn't heard him. Dionysus watched him patiently-- _he'd even stopped moving his hand_ \--but Ares seemed unwilling to repeat himself.

"I know your tongue is capable, Lord Ares--surely it does not fail you now--"

" _I said I want to do this again_ ," Ares said through gritted teeth, golden ichor rising in his face.

"Then I eagerly await our next meeting," Dionysus grinned and resumed his thrusting, stretching out on his chair. "Don't forget your gift."

Ares grabbed Dionysus' forearm and held it still, drawing the toy out with his other hand. Dionysus laughed indulgently, making no move to stop him.

"You will enjoy it," Dionysus said, his upset at the loss overshadowed by its implication.

Ares sneered and said nothing, taking his leave with Dionysus' boon in hand.

Dionysus rolled over in his chair, pouting as his gaze landed on the box Ares had discarded so very far away. His attention turned to another, closer pleasure--a bottle of ambrosia. A different desire, but still one he could indulge himself in.

He rolled over, stretching again and letting his thoughts drift to the god of war. Dionysus drank and imagined Ares doing the same:

_Ares, with a pleasant buzz from the drink of the gods, would take Dionysus' boon--his blessing-- inside him and be overcome with an ecstasy and relief so complete--_

Dionysus shifted, sliding a hand between his legs.

_Ares would agree at last--he would tell him, 'O, Dionysus! A brilliant creation, perhaps your best yet!'_

\---

**Author's Note:**

> [twidder!](https://twitter.com/peanuts_envy)


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